| nothing compares....to....your...ocean eyes. |
[19 Jun 2005|12:01am] |
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mood |
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I havent updated in a long time. But its midnight, on a saturday night, and i thought...why not just type a bunch of shit. I'm kinda done with this whole "livejournal" updating buisness. It was fun last year, but i've gotten out of the habit of telling or writing things about my life and what i want. Why write it down? Things change everyday. So what i write today, i may feel differently about another day. Complicated i guess, but thats how everything goes. I woke up rather early this morning, well 10 o' clock to be exact. That may not seem early to most people, but it is for me, especially on a Saturday. Anyways, I woke up, had the annual cup of coffee and got dressed. I picked up Annie around 1045....and tried to make it to Hil's house around 11:00 but we ended up not getting there until 11:15. It was no big deal, Kyle was even late. After the cigg and drive up there, we walked into Hil's house and watched tv waiting for Kyle to come. Everyone finally arrived and we left to go to Gaelic Park. We went there to see Lauren irish dance and let me tell you, it was a whole new experience for me. This place was huge and so many people were there. We got there a little after noon and became some what nervous that we missed her performance. Little did we know, we stayed there a couple hours later. I'm mad because i had to babysit around 6....and when 3:30 came around, we had to leave and lauren wasnt even close to performing. I'm sorry we missed your performance and i'm sure you did amazing. Annie and I both kinda fought with our mother's and therefore are paying the consequences haha. Oopsy. But anyways, despite us missing the dance, i had fun. I really hope you did well and i feel really bad that i didnt stay, espcially bc i've never seen you dance before, but all well. I think i finally understood what dedication you have to have in order to do things like that. So for all the times i joked around about you dancing, i'm sorry bc i know now how much it does mean and how committed you are to it. I dont know...its after midnight and even though i'm exhausted, i cant seem to fall asleep. Tomorrow's father's day....so happy father's day for all dad's tomorrow. Well, i have nothing more to type. So many thoughts, but not enough paper to put them all down to figure out. All well. Hope everyone has a good day tomorrow and i'll be seeing ya later. Bye.
*i just want to make eveyrthing perfect*
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1 smooch| kiss my ass
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| and the summer kicks off.... |
[26 May 2005|12:40pm] |
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mood |
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 confused |
] |
Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong
Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside
'Cause I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
Swallow me then spit me out
For hating you, I blame myself
Seeing you it kills me now
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1 smooch| kiss my ass
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| fly high....hit the ground....get up...watch the sky spin around |
[14 Mar 2005|11:43pm] |
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mood |
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 shocked |
] |
so...its been a while since i last updated i guess. This weekend was eventful...thank you everyone for celebrating...me and lyndsey's b-day..it was amazing!
Monday's...suck ass....there always slow and boring...typical and tiring...but today went fast...and soccer wasnt that bad...so it was fine.
I've been studying for ethics...i'm kinda stressed....and i wish tomorrow was saturday bc then i'd be on a plane to Arizona. I think i have to leave..and clear my head...think some things through. Tonight sucked ass...and if it was easy for you then i hate myself for risking everything. I hate myself for wanting to work everything out and never argue about petty shit...but i guess thats just wishful thinking. I'm just weak and numb. I dont think i've ever been hurt and shocked, dissapointed and numb so much before. Not gonna lie...that will leave a scar. All well, it'll only make me work harder, and at least i'll be waking up to say i've tried. I guess there's more question marks that lie in your head.
Sry guys...just writing a bunch of crap...i need the arizona sun and a drink lol. I cant wait. All well...good luck to everyone with anything at all this week and i hope everyone has a fun spring break thats coming up...i hope to hang out with ya'll..i'll be back before easter...so everyone have a good one...
*if only you could see me*
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1 smooch| kiss my ass
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| i'm gonna rock your body**** |
[02 Mar 2005|10:48am] |
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mood |
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 crazy |
] |
funny times after school today.......
soccer should be fun....haha hells yeh! i'm acutally excited to get off my lazy ass and do something for once.......
c-ya all tomorrow.....bye fockers!
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kiss my ass
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| nightswimming...deserves a quite night.... |
[17 Feb 2005|09:35am] |
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mood |
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 stressed |
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Its Thursday night and stress never felt so complex. This week has been hectic. A lot has been on my mind, some I don’t know what it means for now and some I don’t know what to do about it. I guess everyone goes through problems, that maybe doesn’t look apparent, but is there. A simple smile shown on someone’s face doesn’t mean that their happy and a tear slowing dripping down someone’s face doesn’t mean that their really upset. I don’t know. Everything is just kinda weird right now. No I’m not weirded out by things I’m just a little out of it I guess. I guess when there’s only a couple months left and the constant pressure of “decide what you want to do with your life” or “where do you want to go” are being thrown at us daily. Lately, after reading some questions and looking over everything and thinking about things, next year will be different. As much as everyone wants to stay in touch and stay close, our lives are all headed on different routes. Its only a matter of time to see where we all end up and hopefully we all will stay in touch because I know I’ll have a hard time leaving. But its time for all of us to go and move on. Its time for all of us to experience something totally fresh and new. Something we never thought we imagine doing. We all need to grow up and get away from the town we’ve grown familiar with. I don’t know..its only a couple months away and still, its hard not to think about how next year, we wont be coming back to viator and seeing everyone in the halls or messing around in the library or throwing food in the café. As much as we say “I hate this school, it sucks” I know I’ll miss it and I’ll probably catch myself going back there just to see whats changed and whats familiar. I guess when it comes down to it, I’m just in a mellow type mood and I kinda just want to finish my college writing paper, drink a cup of coffee and go to bed. Its been a long day and the comments, bitching, and yelling doesn’t go anywhere. I guess I’m not really good at fixing things, but i’m trying as best as I can. Everyone makes mistakes. Its just the fact of, enough’s enough. Well after a long entry, I think I’m tired of spilling out thoughts that I’ll probably laugh about a couple weeks from now. I don’t know. I’m pathetic I guess but I’m stressed. I think karios will be good, just to experience something different and get away from daily problems and questions. It will be good to dodge certain people and avoid confrontation or getting hurt. I hope turnabout will be fun for all that’s going and I hope everyone has a blast. AMY! I’m pissed your not going…I wish you were….but I love you child. Alright everyone I’m out. Have a great 4 day weekend everyone.
***We DrInK tOo MuCh****
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2 smooch| kiss my ass
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| I miss ski trip already....ahhhh |
[20 Jan 2005|02:49pm] |
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mood |
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 gloomy |
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*I havent updated in a really really long f'in time....but i've been busy and i kinda forgot about livejournal for some weird reason...i dont know haha. ANyways....ski trip was amazing!! SO MUCH FOCKING FUN!! haha gotta love the townhouse...fun times...but it seems like everyone got hurt...sry to all of those who did....and steph...i'm sorry about your arm...but it'll get better sooin i promise!
School was long...new schedules....i think my college writing will be hard bc its sommers...so i dont know..but i'm hoping i do well this semester....so that i dont have to take any finals.....hoping*......well its been a long day and all i wanna do is sleeep...so i think i'm gonna lay down...this was somewhat of a pointless entry...but all well.....have fun all....i wuv u...
*Lets get DrUnk...you can drive us to the harbor
Wish upon a star but do you know what* stars* are?
Balls of fire...burning up the backspace....
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2 smooch| kiss my ass
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| ThAt's All YoU'D evEr HeAr Me SaY........ |
[18 Dec 2004|11:54am] |
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mood |
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 wishing i was drunk... |
] |
AFter a week of hell.........its finally..............aaaaaa drummm rollll please........bum bum bum bum bum bum------CHRISTMAS BREAK!
YAY!!! So last night i had to babysit my niece...but i completly passed out at like 9...SRY EVERYONE!!!!!!! i was so tired..i still am...sheesh...........anyways ---right now i'm finally finishing my IU app......i'm *crossing my fingers* bc i really like it there..i think its a blast...so yeh i hope i get in! I was just thinking last night...new years is coming up...meaning it'll be 2005! FUCK YEH! haha but scary to think that will only have a couple of months left that'll probabyl go by super fast....so i hope time slows down a bit.
Well i think i've got some shite to think about over these next 2 weeks.....and some things to finish that i've been putting off bc i had no time.........but i hope this break is amazing and relaxing cuz we all need to chill...........after this past week...we all deserve a vacation..haha alright kiddosssssssss.......2 snikos haha snickers..wow ok anyways......i'm gonna wrap this up..it was kinda a pointless entry...nothing excited yet haha jk jk!
Hope ya'll have a good break now........................wuv u!
**dont call me up when the Snow ------falls down..its the only thing i want this year...**
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2 smooch| kiss my ass
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| just let me go away......let me go.......no more pretending...let it go |
[03 Dec 2004|05:31pm] |
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mood |
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 crappy |
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Stand UP straight..do your Trick
TuRn On ThE sTaRs
Jupiter…
Shines so bright when *your around*
To tell us slow D
O
W
N
…were too young
You need to gROW..
Speed’s the key
And they don’t know who we are…
AnD who’s to say…were not good eNoUgH?
..............
Its too late now
I hold onto this life I found
And who’s to say we wont burn it out?
And who’s to say we wont sink in doubt?
Who’s to say…that we wont f a d e today?
Who are they anyway? Anyway…they don’t kno
And you say were too young but maybe your too old to remember
And I try to pretend but I just feel it when we’re together
And if you don’t believe me, you never really knew us
You never really knew
Well be d.r.i.v.i.n.g.-cuz they don’t know who we aRe
Who’s to say we wont stay together?
Who’s to say we aren’t getting stronger?
Who’s to say I cant live without you?
Who are they a*n*y*w*a*y? Anyway they don’t know
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4 smooch| kiss my ass
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| Cant believe its thanksgiving already!...turkey day yay! |
[22 Nov 2004|09:47pm] |
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mood |
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stressed |
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I seriously believe i have mono haha i'm always tired! wtf..and i always sleep.
.i'm really not a lazy person-----S-H-E-E-S-H!
SO FRIDAY WAS FOCKING AMAZING!!! thanks to mary for makin that all possible...seriously...thanks for that...it was f'in amazing. I'm happy everyone came that was there..and slept there..it was great...flippy cup def...def. fucks everyone up...its great!! haha too many funny things to put down...but it was HALARIOUS......had some good chats....wouldnt leave.......how much happier could i get?...and all..AW.
-So Saturday i basically just slept all day....and babysat...dam kids...
Today was such a bull shit day at school...seriously what the fongoo is the point!
I'm excited for this break..i'm just stressed from school...sick of college shit..i just wanna go somewhere and leave and know that i'm in somewhere ya kno? All well.----...just confusing. ----
I hope this break is good..hope to catch up with everyone and maybe patch up some misunderstandings....maybe i'll even work shit out with my sister......i doubt it though....it sucks........never stop talking with your sister or brother if your really close..cuz it blows. All well i'll get over it i guess. Mayeb i'll even get money back this week...hopefully...god dam it
All well i hope this break turns out good....its thanksgiving....theres *a lot* to be thankful for...=)
Well kids..i'm hittin the sheets...i shall talk to everyone later........oh and yeh lauren....good luck this week..i kno your freakin out...but honestly...you'll be fine....you'll do amazin................goodnight all.......
kisses...muah!
***TaKe ThIs BrOkEn HeArT aNd MaKe It RiGhT....***
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4 smooch| kiss my ass
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| I'm So FaR gOne NoW...i'Ve BeEn RuNnIn On EmPty.......*** |
[15 Nov 2004|09:19pm] |
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mood |
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*Never thought you’d make me…break me…
Well its Monday…yet again….it was a very
S
L
O
W
Day….
------My throat is on flames…it sucks..i HATE being sick…thank you Lauren for getting me ill lol jk….anyways this weekend was good for the most part….Friday I was zonked lol Saturday I went to an amazing concert with Hil, Alec, and Lauren…it was indeed fun…..haha playing that joke on Lauren telling her it was at House of Blues..now that was classic! Good work guys! Saturday night was a little rough though ey? I’m sry…for everything…Anyways Sunday I had a focking baby shower to go to….my poor niece cut her lip….my BABY! Haha It was fun though….good to see the family and all……
Umm Avril with Mary, Steph, Annie, Lindsay, Lauren, and Sean….was awesome…she was amazing…all those songs were focking amazing..mary I cant believe we actually saw her finally…after how long now? Haha Well yeh it was a pretty good day I say……. …had some good chats…thanks for that….inysm…
Alright everyone I just took Nyquil and I’m about to pass the fongoo out..i’ll talk to you all later….hope this week goes fast..cant wait until FRIDAY!!!!!!!!! Wuv you’s
JuSt LeT mE gO.*.*.
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9 smooch| kiss my ass
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| **sorry....but i cant just go turn off how i feel*** |
[07 Nov 2004|02:41pm] |
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mood |
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confused |
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----This weekend was quite eventful....if i dooooo say so myselF----
Friday
-had school…poop
-meg picked me up
-listened to an amazing cd made by ME!
-bought some ring pops for everyone! Yay!
-Drove to meg’s house
-smoked too many ciggs(gotta quit..ha)
-drank a lot!
-was happy you came and were there…
-had a blast with everyone
-realized how happy I am =)
Saturday
-woke up at random times in the night
-had some good chats
-drank again at noon
-became buzzzzzed….oops
-went to the mall to get meg a new cell…haha-slick meg…real slick!
-relaxed at her house after
-left to go home at 3:30
-dropped off garbage..i flew
-had either dog shit..human feces…or bird poo on my shoes….
-smelled like ASSSS omg lol
-came home..showered
-slept at my sis’s house…babysat my niece(AW! I luv her so cute)
-thought about everything…
Today
Homework
SLEEP!
…thought about a lot last night….and I hope everyone is happy….i guess everyone’s gotta do what they have to do..ya kno? Shit can change I guess…and that sucks….but I think I have to figure out what I need and deal with what can happen…
***So lets make a list of who we need...and its not much if anything...make a list of who we need...and will throw it away..cuz we dont need anyone..no we dont need anyone...you kno me....aw you think you do..you just dont seem to see...**-luv the format! laura where's my cd!! haha jk i wuv u child!
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3 smooch| kiss my ass
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| whisper it once...just a little bit..come on whisper it twice... |
[02 Nov 2004|10:50pm] |
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mood |
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gloomy |
] |
***just leave me hanging there...gaspin for air....dont mind me...***
-sick of pretending
-cant hide behind these fake smiles right now...
-do you ever feel like you were a big huge dissapointment or that it was NEVER good enough?
-cant take this anymore...........i just dont kno where i'm headin......i just cant stay here anymore.........
******If i dont let myself be happy now then when..if not now when??--
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1 smooch| kiss my ass
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| I was scared to death of eternity.... |
[25 Oct 2004|03:22pm] |
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mood |
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NOW EVERYONE REPORT TO THE DANCE FLOOR, TO THE DANCE FLOOR........TO THE DANCE FLOOR.....ALRIGHT
STOP!
What up bitches and hoes.......mondays suck blue balls...yes its true but today was a good day! EVeryone was in a decent mood..if i do sayyy sooooo myselF! The weekend went by really quick..i had FOCKING ACT saturday morning......had a good afternoon....got a lot of shizzznit straightened out which is good b/c the past 2 weeks or so...maybe like week...has been kinda on the rocky side...and i was upset a lot...and i hate that. But everythings just GRAND now! which is good..its how its always been..its how its always gonna be** Because we failed to get to the haunted house on time........we all should go before halloween again....anyone up for it?? ANY TAKERS ANYONE...ANYONE...BULLER? haha WHAT! what the fock is wrong with me guys? Sooooo today......we played volleyball in gym.....it was seriously hilarious..i never laughed so hard! Crandall....cracked me up...she was up to serve..and totally kicked up her foot...and hit the shit out of the ball and it didnt even go into the air..it was hilarious....AIR NIS...haha I'm gonna kill that person whoever called me that....I'LL FIND YOU! haha umm so yeh..i barely did shit today in school..it was fun....oh except for the fact that lauren.....YEH MATZKIN I'M TALKING ABOUT YOU! she....attacked me with her god dam permanent markers...so basically my entire arm was coated...jesus am i a coloring book? NO!! haha but it was fun...ADMIT! good times buckos!! alright well i'm gonna go eat some chips and salsa........."elllll gaaaaaatooo" haha....and mary if you ever read this....will you make me a copy of that cd?? prettttyyy pleassee??? Alright guys....talk to you assholes later tehehe i joke..i wuv you all......
Go CRAZZAYYY.......*<:0)
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2 smooch| kiss my ass
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[19 Oct 2004|07:17pm] |
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mood |
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 loved |
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*****Why is it shitty out?******
I'm stressing out, there's so much homework to be done...why does this week SUCK? Well I guess thats what happens when grades are due on Friday....all well....we all gotta do what we gotta do.
I'm excited for Saturday....i think its gonna be amazing....were going to this haunted house...now i'm probably gonna freak out...or pee in my pants haha but i luv that kinda stuff...its always fun....so whoever wants to go.....COME!! the more the better!! haha
So today was a long.....long.....long....slow.....slow...very slow day. I'm so dead tired...i've been up til like 1:00 in the morning for the past 3 days and all i wanna do is sleep but i'm probably not heading to bed until like 2 tonight....focking ethics and science!! Allllllll wellllllll
I dont know, the thought of college.....is scary...i mean filling out applications is no fun but it has to be done. In another way though..i kinda need to get out of this town...and out of my house.....i think we all need to meet new people....even though i'm gonna miss all of you wayyyy WAY too much...jesus i think i'll die....lets not think about that now...shall we? So yeh i better get A goin on this homework of mine...considering i have a HUGE ethics test tomorrow...good luck on that everyone!!! well i'll talk to you all later........goooodbyeee!!!!
****the stars arent out tonight......but neither are we to look up at them....why does hello...feel like goodbye?**
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3 smooch| kiss my ass
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| Spin-party-drink-smoke-dance-kiss-remember..... |
[11 Oct 2004|12:44am] |
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mood |
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 exhausted |
] |
.
....
.........So HoMeCoMiNg 2004...has come to a close.....it was our last one bitches...it was dam fun....the dance part kinda sucked but everything else was a blast!!!
Ummm so i was really sick last night-it was def. a crazy night....and then it was hell haha i just wanted to say thank you to everyone for taking care of me and making sure i was AOK.....sry i freaked you guys out.....i hope that NEVER happens again! I owe you all big time.... luv you guys
We have a long ass weekend...HELLS YEH..i think i would DIE if we had school tomorrow...all of us would be dead tired and hung over still haha ooopppssssiiiieeeee.....
So yeh i hope these next couple of days off are goooooood.....(its good, its gooooooooooooooood) we all gotta party...haha well bed time kids...i tired......goodnight everyone............
sleep tight<3
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4 smooch| kiss my ass
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| i just wanna cry in front of you...* |
[05 Oct 2004|11:20pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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sleepy |
] |
The 1st star i see may not be a star....we cant do a thing but wait...so lets wait...for 1 more..
I'm careful but not sure how it goes
You can lose yourself in your courage
when the time we have now ends
When the big hand goes round again
Can you still feel those butterflies?
Can you still hear them last goodnight?...
If i dont let myself be happy now.....then when..if not now when?
****sry i just listned to this song like 10 times....didnt relaly have a lot to type down..i mean i do but i'm tired! haha we had a good lunch today...ey guys? It was funny...mary you cracked me up...those pictures of sean were hilarious..i peed....yes alec i peed! !haha
I had a good night for the most part...nothing like listening to songs in a car and seeing stars outside.....on a cold day haha.......goodnight all...
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1 smooch| kiss my ass
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cutsandscars2's journal
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